Jealousy: Nature vs. Nurture?

To summarise the article:

Evolutionary theory: Men are more concerned with sexual fidelity because they need to ensure the biological identity of any offspring; women are more concerned with emotional fidelity, because if the guy sticks around, their offspring has a better chance of survival.
New Findings: Men are more likely to be concerned with sexual infidelity, but not in all cases, and women are more likely to be concerned with emotional infidelity, but not in all cases.
New Theory: A direct link between attachment styles and the type of jealousy displayed.
So a person with a secure attachment style, will form deeper bonds and be more concerned with emotional infidelity, but a person with a dismissive style of attachment, values their independence more, and is more concerned with sexual infidelity. The latter is a defensive type of attachment, where deep connections are not formed to avoid feelings of vulnerability, but the theory is the person still values their connection to others, which result in the existing feelings of jealousy.

Why I disagree with the article...
I absolutely agree that evolutionary theory has no real basis in psychology. The only reason hunter-gatherer logic from four thousand years ago would apply today is that gender roles had only slightly changed up until very recently, and only on a surface level. DNA test were not available and women couldn’t support their offspring entirely alone, at least not with the social restrictions that were implemented for the last several hundred years, in most of the world.
But the article conveniently leaves out a comprehensive explanation of attachment styles. It implies that adults are influenced by their early childhood development and that parents can influence the future attachment styles of their children, but it doesn’t explore the implications further.
Secure attachment styles are preferred, and form a healthy self-esteem and independence in young children that results from the right kind of parenting. Toddlers that don’t fear abandonment form secure attachment styles. To simplify, they are the children that can be dropped off at day care without making a fuss, because they know that they will be picked up by their parents at the end of the day.
Anxious-Ambivalent attachment styles were not mentioned in the article, but they are displayed by clingy, overly jealous adults. This is due to the early childhood experience of having unpredictable and inconsistent care, by adults who were warm and interested at times, but distracted and unavailable at others.
The other attachment style mentioned, and the only one left, is avoidant attachments, referred to in the article as ‘dismissive.’ These children learnt that there was no point in depending on others, so they were suspicious and angry, and avoided their mothers even when they were scared.
The observations of the psychologists were that most men were more jealous by sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity, which is then attributed to an avoidant attachment style... Do you see where I’m going with this?
Social psychologists will either have to rethink their ‘Attachment Styles’ theory or the way that they link it to jealousy, because there is no way that the majority of men were shunned by their parents, while the majority of women were properly looked after. Most kids have siblings, and parents are unlikely to treat their male and female children that differently. Yes, there are some conscious and subconscious ways that parents express gender bias, but it’s hardly believable, that it would extend to the bonds they form with their children. Nor is it believable that, in general, little girls are more ‘secure’ than little boys.
On the other hand the attachment style link to jealousy does make some sense when controlling for gender differences, and may be more applicable to women than men. If I were to give some credit to the researchers for linking the innate need of independence with relationship attachment styles and ‘nurture’ as opposed to ‘nature’, I would factor in social differences as the child grows through adolescence and early adulthood, and the differing social expectations that are then attributed to the two genders. Men are judged by their success and power, often independently achieved, which makes them more conscious of that. Men could feel stifled by women who have a way of insisting on monogamous relationships, making them cling more desperately to their independence. Maybe men don’t form more intimate connections as frequently for fear of losing that independence, and basically because they just don’t want to, as opposed to ‘can’t’ form them; and when they want to, they will. And the same applies to women, some women are more career oriented and focused, and they are not particularly bothered by the ‘emotional bonds’ their partner forms at appropriate times of the day in appropriate places. Mostly because they don’t have that much time to care, and probably never spent enough time getting carried away with the emotions; or maybe they’re just particularly pragmatic women that value the social implications of a particular relationship, derive social support and sexual gratification from that relationship, but were never so blown away that they felt capable of connecting with that particular person on a deeper level. In such a case, a sexual indiscretion is a betrayal, a public indiscretion is a huge betrayal, but an emotional indiscretion is something she doesn’t quite relate to with him in particular.
As a woman, I personally feel that a sexual indiscretion is a more tangible betrayal than an emotional one. Where do u draw the line between friendship and betrayal, if there’s no physical expression? Women tend to notice when other women have different plans for their men, but many men remain unaware of anything beyond the pure intentions of a supportive friend, who they might then develop feelings for. I think that’s probably the reason many women go crazy and complain of emotional betrayal. Whereas the few men that do have similar complaints, are probably connected with their women on a deep enough level to realise they’re losing them, long before an indiscretion becomes sexual, because women tend to withdraw emotionally first. So maybe jealousy is less about the general attachment style, but rather, the current attachments of the relationship in question.
Just my own theory! :)